Monday, 16 July 2007

I'm back!

I haven’t updated this in a while. I’ve been content instead to exist in blogsville thru comments on my pages, substituting it, even, for my yahoo email addy. This has meant, obviously, that a lot of my communication is being exposed to the entire world! (that’s such a grand feeling, I had to stick it in there) I’ve noticed, this my weeks of silence, that I will not make a successful adulterer. I almost certainly would be caught. I’m somehow not so adept at telling believable lies to numbers of females, and I’ve proved horribly disastrous at hiding my tracks. If I decide to have affairs outside marriage (I haven’t made up my mind whether to or not, still weighing the pros and cons), my wife certainly wouldn’t need to hire private detectives to follow and find me. I probably will let it slip in a moment of indiscretion, say for instance before I go on a “business trip”, ask her what flavour of condoms to carry along…

But this is me, really. I’m probably the most unintentionally honest person you’ll ever meet. One just has to look at the comments on my page to see how I bungle the simplest white lie.

Enough of that.

Now, due to increased calls, flashes and not too discreet text messages form my avid fans around the globe, I have decided to finally update my blog. I know a lot of you guys have been waiting for this and I don’t want to deny you any longer. I came about this decision sometime last night in my bed while I was counting er…mosquitoes (I actually was supposed to count sheep the way they do in cartoons and fairytales but its easier to count mosquitoes than sheep, trust me, they being more plentiful and visible in the lekki peninsula at certain periods of the night) well anyway I couldn’t sleep and thought of all my disgruntled fans around the globe (there, I said it again!) I mulled a bit about what to post. Which part of my exotic, super/over indulgent, celebrity-like, worldwide envied life do I post for all y’all? My breakfasts on the French Rivera with some gorgeous teen movie star who’s just completely lost her mind (amongst other things, lol) to me, the high powered business meetings where I make cold blooded decisions with blue blooded Germans, the yachts, the gulfstream, caviar, champagne, cute blonds with shredded clothing…
Ok, ok, I guess Id better wake up. I’ve been dreaming too much these days. What I should tell you about was my weekend.

But that won’t be now. Sometime during the week. I need to get to work. My butt still hurts from being chewed at the management meeting this morning….

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ma dear.... wateva did u do (or not do) to earn ur being "chewed" at the management meeting??? Gt ur msgs. twoulda been nice to talk tho.. About the "unintentional honesty" lets just say ...."hmmmmmph"
Thelma

The experiences of an achiever....... said...

eyah Nonso....all these hallucinations... with ur blondes and caviar.. u must really be bored or ur butt was really masticated..hmm unintentional honesty..believable??

ozaveshe onyeabo said...

@anonymous: i wonder what "hmmmmmmph" means when translated to english

@achiever: masticated? stop speaking fancy grammer on top my nyash abeg.

ozaveshe onyeabo said...

abi is that the spelling? or is it yansh?

2ndCorin5:17 said...

lol cuzzo, I rove ur blog sooo much!! Well, i'm waiting on d updates and PLEASE tell me how is my other cuz???? Rather where can i find my other cuz???

catwalq said...

cheating on your wife will confirm that there is nothing ultimately special about u. U will just be another random statistic of infidelity promoting the stereotype that your specie is not worth much...

welcome back.is this ur real name? what does your first name mean?

Pink-satin said...

lol abt the counting mosquito

Atutupoyoyo said...

Ol boy I am enjoying this ya blog o. Deliciously decadent and amoral. Quite refreshing.

Greater frequency.

cinnamonqueen said...

gosh you're well on your way to becoming my favourite blogger already after having read only two posts. solid style and a great sense of humour.